


Black-Briar Twilight

by Hitsugi_Zirkus



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7743040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hitsugi_Zirkus/pseuds/Hitsugi_Zirkus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And yet, as Shui would smile at him, speak in that lyrical way of his, Leaks continued to see no hint of himself in Shui’s heart. Sometimes, Leaks could see something plant itself within Shui, the beginnings of affection and want of friendship -- just as he had the actual first time they met. But by their next meeting, it was as if his memories were shattered all over again -- the remaining shards cut no one else but Leaks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black-Briar Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear Lamento/N+C fandom, I have not forgotten you! It's been some time since I wrote some Lamento, so it's nice to get back to this style of writing again. This fic is a request from Kuma-chan after I reblogged a prompt meme on tumblr! The prompt was "waking up with amnesia AU" so strap yourself in for some angst. Enjoy~

The very marrow of his bones were infused with that melody that sparkled gently like sunlight through the forest’s leaves, perfumed with the scent of sweet wildflowers that would continue to sprout from the warm earth for all eternity.

Eternity… This universe stretched on for infinity, yet the same natural cycles spun the stars and brought life and death to the forest of Sisa and all creatures of the earth. Nothing in this world was eternal, and all breath of life sighed its last. He alone had immortality in his veins, though even he, the magician, had no clue how long a time that truly meant for him to live.

Which would last longer, himself or this melody imbued with the love and warmth a single poet had for him? Sentiments weren’t something he believed to have much of a power or magic to them, yet here these feelings lived inside him, altering his world and heart.

Would these feelings and memories die one day too?

* * *

Magic hid Leaks’ home in safety. The forest was vast in the first place, and full of beasts, so it was difficult for even one actively searching out his home to find it. The path was a secret known only to him -- or so it had been for many years.

“It goes without saying that I can’t be found. Tell these directions to no other cat. No matter what you might think of me, I’m still a cursed cat, and would sooner be killed than befriended. That’s just the truth.” Leaks crossed his arms, watching where Shui stood in the open doorway, about to leave back to town.

Shui smiled at him, sadness blooming at the corners of his eyes. “If that’s what you wish, then that’s what I’ll do. But I think you should give the world another chance, Leaks.”

“Not every cat is as kind as you, Shui.” _No cat is. You are the anomaly of this world, who carries unconditional love in his heart and makes the forest flourish with his song_.

Shui really would be a one-of-a-kind chief Sanga. If it was Shui’s song, then he’d be able to affect Sisa and others’ hearts. For Leaks, it was the stagnant snow inside him melting to golden spring rain.

Until then though… Leaks still held doubt about the world. And he worried about Shui. No song could match his, of this Leaks was certain -- and there would no doubt be those that held envy and spite for such pureness and beauty, and perhaps even seek destroy it. Who knew what would happen if the cats on the outside knew Shui visited the cursed magician in the forest. The secret of Leaks’ home and existence was for Shui’s benefit as much as Leaks’.

“Will you be able to remember my directions? I don’t want to have to save you from being eaten by a beast again.”

“That’s what I’m saying about having more faith in others!” Shui said it with a desperate laugh. The setting sun shone in his hair and the tips of his ears. If Leaks could bottle up that magic light like the herbs and crystals he kept on his shelves, he would. It’d be safer like that, away from venomous eyes and hands of destruction. But light like that couldn’t be confined. Freedom was a beautiful thing -- Leaks saw it each time Shui danced in under the canopy of leaves and smiled at him.

Getting up from his chair, Leaks passed Shui out the door and felt over the roots and vines woven over the exterior of his home. It was spring, and flowers were starting to stretch their colorful hands up to the skies. Leaks plucked one such flower, small and blue, and placed it delicately on Shui’s scarf as if it were a precious brooch.

“If you get lost,” Leaks said, “look for this flower. And it will lead you back to this place.”

* * *

There was no fear in Shui’s eyes when he said it, but Leaks felt that rusted coil slowly wind around his heart, rubbing it raw.

“How do you know my name?”

In the middle of the forest, the cat standing in front of Leaks felt like Shui, sounded like Shui, and smelled like Shui. No illusion was apparent to him, and neither was there a clue that pointed him to the conclusion that a spell was at work here. It had only been two days since Leaks last saw Shui -- surely if he’d experienced head trauma, the recovery time would be much longer if the result of the injury had turned out to be -- _this_.

Softly, like a writhing ember in danger of fading to black, Leaks said, “Of course I know your name. Don’t you know mine?”

“I should like to know it,” Shui replied, grinning to show his teeth, his benign fangs.

Leaks replied with only a long stare, searching Shui’s eyes like he were an ancient text to decode. A heavy fog stirred up behind his own eyes, making the edges of Shui’s form fuzzy. Leaks was tempted to believe that none of this could be real.

“The place hidden by the forest and magic -- you don’t know of it, do you? Shelves of herbs I helped you identify. The fairytales of Two Canes in stacked, dusty books. The candles swaying to the tune of your songs…”

Shui slowly shook his head, his expression falling in the face of Leaks’ grim aura.

“And you don’t know me?”

“Won’t you tell me your name?” Shui stepped forward, into a ray of light, illuminating the faint freckles spilled over his cheeks and nose. He was so close to see his every handsome feature, but so far away that Leaks couldn’t see himself reflected inside Shui at all.

Again with reaching out. Again with that innocent gaze. Meeting again could go so wrong and yet Shui held that same kindness towards him. Leaks didn’t understand it. Anguish filled Leaks’ lungs like ash, but then he thought -- this might be for the best. He had worried so much that something awful would happen to Shui if they were associated together -- perhaps this was the result.

Leaks took a step back, retreating into shadow. “It’s probably best that you don’t know it.”

* * *

_If we could merely forget our woes, would our hearts not then be free?_

_Memory chains us down, rotten roots winding around our ankles, sinking us down deep into the suffocating earth._  

_T_ _o forget the past, to erase the pain, to undo mistakes, to tear the wings of the butterfly that would surely flutter over your grave -- I’d let go of your hand._

The golden rain in his heart was no longer suited to dance in with laughter. It was lonely, spilling into his hands just the same as his tears.

 _I never would have belonged in your world_.

* * *

Once. Twice. Three then four times. It was Leaks’ own curse, the cruel threads of fate in twisted knots where his and Shui’s lives intersected. Perhaps it was because of his position as a Sanga, or simply that the forest invited all cats into its embrace, but again and again Leaks stumbled upon Shui -- saving him from beasts, catching him picking herbs, hearing his song sway through the forest.

And yet, as Shui would smile at him, speak in that lyrical way of his, Leaks continued to see no hint of himself in Shui’s heart. Sometimes, Leaks could see something plant itself within Shui, the beginnings of affection and want of friendship -- just as he had the actual first time they met. But by their next meeting, it was as if his memories were shattered all over again -- the remaining shards cut no one else but Leaks.

* * *

“Leaks,” Shui said. There was light in his eyes. Without thinking, Leaks’ ears perked up at the sound, the fall of his name from Shui’s lips as if it were sacred and a wonder. It was as good as if Shui had murmured a spell, and Leaks was pulled in.

“That’s -- my name. You know it.”

Shui smiled. “I’ve heard of you before. It’s the magic and the fact you’re here in the forest as if you were born from its embrace -- I had heard in Ransen that there was a magician that lived here named Leaks.”

Ah. Rumors. Hearsay. Whispers. Cautious glances toward the depths of the forest, where the cursed magician lived.

Leaks frowned, feeling boneless as he exhaled. Those rumors were the only way Leaks could touch Shui’s life again. It would the only way for Shui to know his name. He was words in forbidden texts, a name said in lowered tones in the darkness -- there was no reason for Shui to give him a second thought, no reason to reach out and hold his hand, and certainly no reason to sing for him.

“Are you sure that’s all you’ve heard about me? Aren’t there warnings to stay away from me?”

“Is there a reason for me to stay away? You sound so lonely when you say something like that.”

_Cruel. You’re so cruel, Shui. You have some audacity to say such a thing -- when you were the one who left first._

_“There’s -- something I have to tell you. I can’t -- come here anymore_.”

Shui was miles away in a present Leaks couldn’t see because for weeks now he’d been stuck listening to these last words Shui had spoken to him -- the last melody Leaks had to hold on to. And maybe Shui losing his memory was a way for them to start over -- but the lines of this web all led to the same place: again and again, Shui would just leave him, be it his own conscious decision to walk out of Leaks’ door, or by forgetting everything once the sun rose.

Leaks wasn’t sure which departure was the most painful; his heart felt too damaged to process fresh pain anymore, the dull ache was constantly there, poisoning his body and sanity.

* * *

Even with his eyes closed, Leaks could see it.

There was proof that magic existed in this world. But not every magic detailed by Two Canes did. The notion that feelings could tie hearts together, could make something eternal so long as the other never forgot…

 _What absurdity_.

Songs, rings, laughter, flowers and golden spring rain from the twilight skies above -- it had all been swept away from the fog and could no longer be touched again. Those feelings were long gone and Leaks couldn't reclaim them. Like smoke in his hands, they evaporated before he could remind Shui again of what once had blossomed between them.

“ _Even if the world killed you, I would not forget you_.” Leaks had a feeling that those words had been spoken before -- who had said it? Was it a part of the song once sung to him from Shui’s lips? Or was it something simply spoken to him? Shui’s voice had a way of sounding lyrical even when he was just speaking. The words sounded like a sacred vow, murmured in the cupped hands of a beating heart for only bones and the Moon of Light to hear.

It didn’t matter.

_Even if time turns back, this sin can’t be erased for the cursed one who dared reach for the world._

The Moon of Light had sunk into the earth, the last of its orange-red light swallowed by the darkness of night. The beasts in the forests grumbled and howled, nonthreatening, just another part of the shadows. Leaks might’ve once expected to have Shui tell him that these were a part of the forest’s melody.

Leaks stood outside his door, his black fur and apparel blending in to the dark, his honey-colored gaze far off, staring at something beyond the thicket of night. The moonlight spilled onto the ground, coldly illuminating the leaves and flowers. The summer would soon end, and the frost would claim the land.

Then there was hurried breaths, the crunch of leaves, and then Shui’s form appeared in the moonlight before Leaks too. A bated breath passed between them when they locked eyes. Shui looked at him like he had finally found what he was looking for, as if something had fallen into place for him.

“Come with me,” he said, pale and beautiful and haunting like a ghost.

Leaks almost fell for it. But the tell-tale fall of Shui’s expression, the lowering of his eyes, the polite way he carried himself -- they were just strangers meeting again.

“Why are you out here at night?” Leaks mused, already working to mentally shut Shui away. His eyes widened. “Wait, how did you come to find this place, in the dark no less? I have magic concealing it.”

“Eh? That is...” Shui’s urgency made room for some wonder himself, and he looked back the way he had come. “I was in such a hurry -- to find you -- but I had no idea I was looking for you, if that makes sense? And I didn’t know where to go, but then -- the flowers, I followed them…” Shui plucked one off the ground at his feet, showing the small blue bloom nestled in his palm so preciously as if offering it to Leaks.

“ _If you get lost, look for this flower. And it will lead you back to this place_.”

What sort of game was being played here? Leaks wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hold Shui close, spill his sorrow and regret and anger and love down in the form of these blue flowers overflowing from his eyes and the depths of his heart.

But nothing could be done about going back. This was Leaks’ curse. He was an outcast. He did not belong. He was feared and hated, and none would ever step into his world and take his hand. The time he once had with Shui was just a blissful dream that was fated to come to an end. The price of Shui coming close to him was that Leaks could no longer exist in his heart.

“What could possibly have pulled you here? Leave at once!”

Startled, Shui gasped. But he did not flee. The desperation and determination had returned to his features, and he reached for Leaks. “Please, I don’t know what’s happening, but I have to take you away from here, I have to--”

Shui’s moon-kissed features suddenly burst to brilliant orange. The two of them turned to the rise of flame in the distance, smoke clawing up towards the skies. The flames crawled out for them, hissing and roaring like the black beasts Leaks saved Shui from.

“It’s true,” breathed Shui. “Please, come with me to safety--!”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Leaks’ voice reached his ears before he realized he was speaking. He backed out of Shui’s reach, narrowing his eyes. “You led them here, didn’t you?”

“What? I’ve never-- I didn’t tell anyone--”

“Lies! It must be convenient to have such a selective memory.” Pain. Sharp like needles. Days illuminated by song, washed away, blue flowers floating on the surface. Where was Shui? Should Leaks take his hand? He didn’t understand, he was being torn to pieces, eaten up by flame. _They'll destroy him too. Everything will die, that's just how it is._

“Please… Leaks.”

_You’ll forget me by morning. The promise I heard in your song, you cannot keep it. Once the world kills me, there will be none left who remember me, no heart I can find sanctuary in. You’ll forget me again -- but how can I possibly forget you?_

_How can I forget?_

_I want to forget too_.

A pillar of fire flashed before their eyes as the tree nearest them ignited, spilling flame onto Leaks’ home. Shui gasped as if the sight pained him, and Leaks took the moment to slide into the shadows just as overlapping voices of Sanga approached them. Shui called out to him, feet rooted among the forget-me-nots.

Leaks closed his eyes, and willed himself to forget too.

* * *

That voice was wrapped to the very marrow of Leaks’ bones, a lullaby that would never leave Leaks, even if Shui could no longer sing it.

But twenty years later, rumors would fill Ransen’s air again -- they would no longer speak of the cursed magician Leaks, who was forgotten with the pile of ash that night; they would instead talk of an ethereal voice echoing in the forest, a song faraway as if from a distant memory, a song holding a single promise:

“ _Even if the world killed you, I would not forget you_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up really liking this prompt (Kuma has excellent taste, as usual) since it tied so much into that famous ShuiLeaks line. Since it had been awhile, I re-listened to Rhapsody to the Past but I had to stop halfway through because of feels. ShuiLeaks will just always have a direct connection to the needles piercing my kokoro. 
> 
> Also I hope the order of events wasn't confusing; Shui and Leaks' fight (from Rhapsody to the Past where Shui said he couldn't see Leaks anymore) happened some days after the first scene of the fic, so Shui had already left Leaks once before. Then the amnesia happened and they kept meeting, putting Leaks' feelings for him in a greater tangle. And even though Shui had forgotten Leaks again, and Leaks discarded his emotions into Konoe, his spirit still finds itself tethered to the earth, singing a song as if looking for something he lost...
> 
> Leaks, of course, could never forget that song.


End file.
